Alternative Healing
Conceiving with Love
CJ Liu interviews Denise Wiesner about her book “Conceiving with Love,” discussing getting pregnant when you are going through a lot of stress.
Acupuncture-Fertility: How to Get Pregnant During Stressful Times // Part 1 of 4
Denise shares her wisdom about conceiving during COVID times. Many of Denise’s clients in their 30’s and late 40’s are less worried about COVID and more stressed about their biological clock ticking. Acupuncture is a treatment that many of her clients use to support traditional methods such as IVF and insemination, or when they have hit a roadblock
How does acupuncture help with getting pregnant?
Denise explains that many of the men and women she supports are out of balance. Everyone will come in with a different issue, which may include digestion issues, sleep, stress, etc. All of these imbalances within the body can affect a person’s ability to have healthy sperm and to conceive. For example, if someone has anger issues it may mean that their liver energies are out of balance. Denise would apply needles in the energy channels to get them unstuck. In addition, she supplied herbs that provided a more “cooling” constitution. She explains that when liver energy is out of balance it can cause be controlling, and feel frustration and anger. When in balance, liver energy is a creative visionary.
In addition, Denise applies acupuncture in certain points and offer herbs that generally help everyone with conception and production of sperm, and offer supplements to fortify the system. For example, maybe a male prenatal of Q10, Vitamin E, Vitamin C, and Zinc which help sperm production.For a woman, a prenatal that would help enhance egg quality such as iron, Folate, and Q10.
What are common issues related to getting pregnant?
Getting pregnant is about body, mind, and spirit. In the video, Denise shares several physical conditions such as polycystic ovary syndrome, endometriosis or even the ways you work out that can affect your ability to get pregnant. Denise explains the importance of emotional intimacy and sexuality. For example, anger issues affect your ability to have deep intimacy. She explains the importance of:
- Fire (loving heart energy, joy, and high spiritual energy), and
- Water (kidney energy, which is the seat of our sexuality and our fertility right because as we age this energy starts going down.
For women, this results in dryness in their vagina area and night sweats. For men, water energy goes down too. Right now with COVID there is an imbalance of fear due to general uncertainty, coupled with fearful thoughts such as “I am too old,” or “Time is running out”.
The metal element is about how we protect and armor ourselves from past trauma. An example of a past trauma that would affect conception would be sexual abuse. In 5 elements system, metal is about breath and the lung and conceptually how we take in and let go. A breath or meditation practice would be prescribed to help calm the nervous system and letting go of trauma.
The earth element is our center, think mother earth. This correlates to digestion in the 5 element system and how we process and extract nutrition and nourish our bodies. If out of balance, it would emotionally show up as worrying or overthinking. Physically, it would show up as bloating, irritable bowels, or constipation.
5 Elements: How To Increase Your Sex Drive // Part 2 of 4
Earth Element: The Earth element may show up if one person wants to have sex more often. As a result, one person may end up not getting their needs met. They also might not know how to communicate about it. A solution would be for both partners to talk about the vision for the partnership and love making. While it’s often hard to talk about sexual frustration, it can lead to a better partnership.
Water Element: You may not have a high sex drive. There are some herbal remedies like horny goat weed, a sex libido tonic, that can be good for either gender. Denise explains that for women who feel that they have a low sex drive, it may just be that it takes 20-45 minutes to feel aroused. Women may not know that they want to have sex until aroused.
Metal Element: If one partner has had a body trauma, it’s common for them to shut down and armor up in the bedroom, in respect to being touched. Making love is about opening our hearts and letting the heart energy drop into the water element. This leads the kidney energy into our loins. If lovemaking becomes too rigid and scheduled, it’s easy to lose the connection.
7 Strategies: How to Have Better Sex // Part 3 of 4
CJ Liu interviews Denise Wiesner, sex coach, about the 5 Element Love map and how it could be used to have better sex. In this video, Dense talks about the wood and earth element being out of balance in the bedroom and Denise offers 7 different partner exercises you can try.
Wood Element (Liver/Gallbladder) – Stuck and Frustrated Energy
If you are experiencing stuck and frustrated energy, your goal is to move the energy. You can shake things off and move via exercise. One example is the Qigong shaking exercise – found here.
Denise explains that the heart opens to the eyes and she offers some eye exercise.
- Eye Gazing: Look at your partners eyes for four minutes. Eyes are the window of the soul and there can be profound shifts from just slowing down and really seeing your partner. See a video here. You can elaborate and put hands on each other’s heart, hold hands, breath together, or do the eye exercise while making love.
- Making love is a perfect way to release energy. Denise explains that at the moment of orgasm you are not thinking of anything, your brain turns off, and you can let go.
Earth Energy (Spleen/Stomach) – Overwhelmed With Pleasing Others
If you are experiencing Earth Energy, you goal becomes to ask for what you want and gain self-esteem. Here are some ways you can do that:
- Communicate about lovemaking (how you like being touched). If you need help think about getting a sex coach. For example, you may like to have your partner play with your hair, or your partner may like when you use your nails.
- Touch Game: This is a short game where you touch your partner the way you want to be touched for three minutes. Then, spend three minutes touching your partner how they want you to touch them.
- Take care of your body by eating clean.
- Love your body by looking at yourself in the mirror and love the way you are right now, not when you lose 5 lbs.
- Body Confidence: Own and be in your body.
Chinese Medicine (Water/Metal/Fire Element): How to Have Better Sex // Part 4 of 4
Water element (Kidneys, Bladder Energy) – Fear (when fight or flight is triggered)
The goal of this element is being in the present moment and connecting with the heart. This is an element that Denise fortifies with all of her patients trying to have a baby since it’s critical to reproduction. Some herbal medicines you can try can be found here: Horny Goat Weed. Denise can also create a custom formula for your constitution. A physical practices to help in this element is Qigong.
Metal element (Lungs, Large intestine) – Shame and Sexuality
The goal of this element is breathing and letting go of past trauma. Identify what you have to let go of with respect to shame around sexuality. Denise provides a few examples in the video of what these blocks may be about. Breathing exercises can also be helpful. Here are two:
- Breathing: Exchange inhale/exhale: Listen to the video for a few exercises or watch these videos for new ideas. One is to face each other and take in each other’s breath (one person exhales and the other person inhales their breath), or try matching your inhale and exhales.
- Breathing: Back-to-back Passing Ball: Sit back to back while one partner inhales, fills their belly like a ball, and then when they exhale they send energy to their back, and the other partner breathes in this energy.
Fire element (Heart, Small Intestines, Pericardium, Triple Warmer) – anxiety, restlessness, and insomnia
The goal of this element is love and joy. This can often be found through kissing. Denise explains that the heart opens to the tongue. When we are familiar in our relationships we tend to kiss less with our tongue. However, the tongue connects to our sex organs and our loins. This can help develop a deeper spiritual connection to something greater than ourselves.
More on Denise Wiesner
Certified by ABORM, the American Board of Oriental Reproductive Medicine, Denise Wiesner is founder of Natural Healing & Acupuncture in West Los Angeles, California, a certified sex coach, Licensed Acupuncturist, and herbalist. When she isn’t working, teaching, or writing, Denise enjoys playing guitar, practicing yoga, dancing, and spending time with Noah and Ethan, her two sons.
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