When we are single, but looking for a relationship, there are dark moments when it’s easy to feel that we will never find love.  It’s at these moments that we feel separate from a cruel world where everything seems to be made for two.  Around Valentine’s Day we are haunted by images of smiling, kissing, and adoring couples buying lingerie, jewelry, and chocolates.  Tyler Young, a Seattle dating coach, joins us on our radio program this Wednesday, February 13, from 1:00-1:30 PT to share ideas on finding love and that special someone.

In the meantime, here are a few things from energy psychology and meditation to help you find love an  feel the love on Valentine’s Day.

• Remove the stressful feelings of separateness and loneliness.  It’s important to realize that your feelings of separateness and loneliness are just that… feelings, and something that will pass, like a rainy day.  If possible, avoid creating meaning out of these feelings and generating debilitating stories about who you are (unattractive, unworthy, etc.), or how others have wronged you.
  • Try a simple tool from energy psychology when your mind and feelings are a bit negative.  Place your palm over your forehead (frontal neurovascular points) and place the other palm over the bump at the back of your head (occipital region) and take long deep breaths.  Bring up all the negative thoughts that are making you feel bad (e.g., I’ll never find anyone; I’ll always be alone; No one will ever love me) and wallow in your thoughts and feelings.  Hold for a few minutes, until you feel relief, a sense of relaxation, a shift, or you feel more neutral.
  • Gaining awareness of your negative emotions can be a good first step to releasing them. Check out these in-depth explorations of your negative emotions, whether they be anger, jealousy and envy, and fear.
• Bring in your faith and love in yourself.   On a spiritual level you are never alone and at any moment you can be in communion with the whole and with your deepest self through meditation. Finding love is a matter of finding your heart. (Check out Wednesday’s show from 1:30-2:00 when we talk about the power of our heart.)  While we seek to find love outside of ourselves, the most enduring love is that which we can find within ourselves.   Here are a few meditations to try to get your mind in a more positive place.  If you are a yoga fan try this heart meditation, or bring in a sense of deep love for yourself by trying this meditation.   Either of these meditations can help shift your mindset to a more positive place.  Listen to the following in depth discussions on gratitude, compassion, faith and courage, forgiveness, and self-love and how you can bring more love into your life.

There is a theory among energy healers that removing our negative thoughts and bringing in a positive mindset increases the level at which our energy vibrates, which is inherently attractive to others.  I have found this to be the case for myself. Give it a try, and see if it works for you!