Aging
Empty Nest: Grief, Loneliness, and Change
CJ Liu interviews Carla Marie Manly, PhD about her book “Aging Joyfully: A Woman’s Guide to Optimal Health, Relationships, and Fulfillment for Her 50’s and Beyond.” Starting at age 30 and into their 50’s women start questioning if they are relevant anymore. Once women’s responsibilities at home start winding down, women start asking “WHO AM I?”
Women are often accustomed to self-sacrifice. There is a grief as this period of heavy lifting in home responsibilities changes. This often really hits during the “empty nest” stage. Carla answers listener questions on how empty nest differs for single, married, and same sex couples. One of things that is most important during this stage is to honor the grief. CJ discusses the deep grief that she felt when her oldest son left. She could not replace this part of her life. There is a deep sadness as this void cannot be filled. Honoring the beauty of the relationship and that period of your life is important in the healing process.
Another area to examine during the empty nester stage is the health of the marriage itself. Some couples put “children first” at the detriment of their own marriage. During the parenting stage, partners either connect, run parallel lives, divergent lives, or enmeshed lives. It can often be tempting to have an affair, or to get divorce. Carla suggests that each person becomes more intentional. This involves each person going inward and getting clear with what they want in the next chapter to blossom and unfold.
The book leads the reader through a series of questions to evaluate what each person needs to feel radiant. One common objections during this self-work is feeling a sense of selfishness. The act of introspection and living in alignment to what brings you joy is selfless because you have more capacity to give. At the end of the segment, Carla describes what happens to couples who decided not to have children or people who chose to be single their entire lives and their struggle with loneliness.
Empty Nest: Grief, Loneliness, and Change: YouTube Video
More on Dr. Carla Marie Manly
Dr. Carla Marie Manly is a clinical psychologist and wellness expert who makes her home in Sonoma County, California. With a holistic, body-mind-spirit approach, Dr. Manly specializes in the treatment of anxiety, depression, trauma, and relationship issues. Blending traditional psychotherapy with alternative mindfulness practices, such as yoga and meditation, Dr. Manly knows the importance of creating healthy balance, awareness, and positivity in life.
Her first book, Joy From Fear, released on April 1, 2019 offers page after page of real-life examples, insights, easy-to-use tools, and life-changing exercises. Coining the term transformational fear, Dr. Manly illuminates the importance of embracing fear’s messages for a transformed life filled with freedom and lasting happiness. Find her book “Aging Joyfully: A Woman’s Guide to Optimal Health, Relationships, and Fulfillment for Her 50’s and Beyond,” here.
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