Death & Beyond
Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief
CJ Liu interviews David Kessler on his book “Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief.” David talks about his work with Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and explains the five stages of grief. These are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. He shares how this model is being misused and misunderstood in ways that Elisabeth would not have intended. David explains that theses stages don’t have to be experienced sequentially and that not everyone experiences all the stages. Later in the program, David explains that grieving process is unique to everyone and that there is not a “right” way to grieve. Additionally, there is no set time in which you will finish grieving.
In his book, David explains a missing stage of grief: meaning. Finding meaning means looking for more after someone has died. Perhaps your life was changed by knowing them, or they tragically died in a way to changes the trajectory of your life. CJ explains how her Dad (David) died, which shaped her life in meaningful ways. David explains his own mother’s tragic death as well as his work experience shaped his life.
It’s often hard to know how to support someone who is grieving. David shares the importance of witnessing and being present with someone as they grieve. His personal story involved writing out his grief and witnessing the grief from multiple perspectives. This allowed him to change the story he created about his own grief. He advises that the pain you experience is as strong as the love you felt. At the end of the interview, David mentions all the ways you can get online support for your own grief.
Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief: YouTube Video
More on David Kessler
David Kessler is the world’s foremost expert on grief and loss. His experience with thousands of people on the edge of life and death has taught him the secrets to living a happy and fulfilled life, even afterlife’s tragedies. He is the author of six books, including the new bestselling book, Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. He coauthored two books with Elisabeth Kubler Ross, including On Grief and Grieving updated her 5 stages for grief. His first book, The Needs of The Dying received praise from Saint (Mother) Teresa.
David’s personal experience as a child witnessing a mass shooting while his mother was dying in a hospital helped him begin his journey. For most of his life, David has taught physicians, nurses, counselors, police, and first responders about the end of life, trauma, and grief. He facilitates talks, workshops and retreats for those experiencing grief. However, despite his vast knowledge on grief, his life was turned upside down by the sudden death of his twenty-one-year-old son. It inspired him to write his newest book, Finding Meaning.
David’s volunteer work includes being an LAPD Specialist Reserve for traumatic events as well as having served on the Red Cross’s disaster services team. He worked for over a decade in a three-hospital system. David was trained for bio -terrorists’ events as well as epidemics/ pandemics. He is the founder of www.grief.com which has over five million visits yearly from 167 countries. You can find his book here.
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