Communication Skills

Retirement or Death: Cleaning out the House

By cjliu | September 7, 2020

CJ interviews Marni Jameson, author of “Downsizing the Blended Home.”

One of the hardest emotional things to do is either clearing out your deceased parent’s home, or moving your parents into a nursing home. There are inevitably sibling issues, and gut-wrenching decisions on what items you will give away. Marni explains that each of these decisions doesn’t have to be about letting go of the memories.

Here are 5 tips from Marni on how to manage the challenging issues that come with this move:

1) SIBLING DIBS: Ask your siblings for a few items that they want to have and keep. Keep those aside.

2) VALUABLE ITEMS: There is often a reservation to give away that “expensive” china. The reality is that china is now worthless and it’s important to depersonalize these items.

3) CUT: Marni uses the following categories to help people figure out what to do with an item. Will I need it, use it, or do I love it.

4) PILE OF POSTPONEMENT: Whatever you do, do not spent time reminiscing about old photos, medals, diplomas, or slides. Put all of these items in a pile and deal with this later. If you don’t, you’ll be reading your 4th grade report card thinking about Ms. Warren.

5) BURN and SEND BACK: Be careful not to pass the buck on items. Do your children really want to see your 4th grade report card. Instead of burdening them with your memorabilia associated with your memories, take a picture and then burn everything. Bless these items for their utility and send them away.