Love & Connection

Should I Get Married?

By cjliu | February 20, 2020

CJ Liu interview Pastor Jason Micheli author of “Living in Sin: Making Marriage Work between I Do and Death.” What is the process that Pastor Jason uses to ensure a couple lives happy ever after. While most ceremonies focus on sentiment, Pastor Jason’s approach is to focus on the actual vows. During the interview Pastor Jason stresses the importance of examining each person’s commitment when things get rough. Most people get married when starstruck with love without considering that there is much unknown about marriage itself, ourselves, and the other person. All of which will inevitably change throughout time. Later in the interview, Pastor Jason shares the importance of shared values, a shared understanding of what happens when things go sideways, and communicating effectively.

Cleave. This is one of the key concepts that Pastor Jason stresses during conversations with couples. Specifically, what are family of origin stuff that you will take with you and leave behind as you create your new family. Pastor John shares his personal story of getting a rare form of cancer that required three years of chemotherapy and a threat of death. This was the true test of his marriage. It was during this time that the “fractures” in his life showed up. Pastor John shares his family of origin with an alcoholic father and how this affected celebrating Christmas. He explains how during a relapse his marriage ceremony was more a lecture about his life, then the couple.

Pastor Jason’s experience with cancer helped him learn about grace, mercy, forgiveness, and the nature of one way love. During his hardest times, it was Pastor John’s wife that gave unconditional love. Pastor Jason explains that a spouse’s love is a surrogate to God’s love. Unconditional love means not holding expectations on what should happen.