Self-Awareness
The Seven Secrets to Healthy, Happy Relationships
CJ Liu interviews Don Miguel Ruiz Jr. on his book “The Seven Secrets to Healthy, Happy Relationships.”
Part 1: How to Practice Present Moment Awareness
Miguel shares how his life has changed during COVID-19 and how his deep presence to “what is” shaped his experience and his ability to shift and adopt. Miguel uses the example of a chess player that maps out all the moves before he makes a move, and how COVID has caused us to shift out of expected outcomes. We have been forced to be in synchronicity to what is happening around us. Miguel had to miss running a half-marathon he had trained for months for.
On the family front, Miguel had to focus on fathering two teenagers including an autistic son, as well as his Dad that was immune compromised. Like many, Miguel had many losses. He lost three uncles and his community of friends lost businesses and jobs. Miguel shared how he’s navigated his path during these times and questions he focused on during these challenging times.
1) What are my priorities? What is the most important thing to me? What is my main purpose?
2) What can I control?
3) How do I shift and adapt? What must I let go of in order to move forward?
How to Practice Present Moment Awareness: YouTube Video
Part 2: Will Four Agreements Free or Limit You From Love?
When Miguel doesn’t live in alignment with these agreements does he beat himself up and make these four agreements be conditions for loving himself? Or does he unconditionally love himself regardless of what other’s/he expects of him?
The current world has become full of division and culture wars. During these times, we can get lost in what Miguel refers to as our own domestication. Domestication is the desire that we love ourselves and others when they meet our expectations, and punish others when they don’t. He offers the following introspection to determine if you are creating for yourself or others conditions for love:
- I’m right and you are wrong
- I stand in judgment of you (name calling)
- I am better than you (hierarchical)
- I/They have to do x (vs. wanting to do).
When you contrast yourself to the other, then it may call from some healing work to move from placing yourself separate from to accepting others as they are and allowing yourself/them to be free as you/they are.
Michael steps CJ through a healing process of gaining awareness of her attachments and the following steps:
- Become aware of how you confuse “who you are” with “what you know”
- Gain awareness of how your attachments have created your reality
- Stop creating your identity based on the opinions and judgments of others around you
- Let go of the fear of what you are without your beliefs
- Make new Agreements that are more in line with your true Authentic Self
- Forgive yourself for decisions you made that harm you or others.
Will Four Agreements Free or Limit You From Love?: YouTube Video
More on Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.
At the age of 14, don Miguel Jr. apprenticed to his father don Miguel Sr. and his grandmother, Madre Sarita. From that early age, he was called upon to translate Madre Sarita’s prayers, lectures and workshops from Spanish into English. In this way, through constant repetition and review, he learned the content of her teachings in both languages. Through interpreting for Madre Sarita, don Miguel Jr. came to understand the power of faith. He saw first-hand how she manifested her intent to heal people, both physically and spiritually. don Miguel Jr.’s apprenticeship lasted 10 years. When he reached his mid-20’s, his father intensified his training. At the apex of this power journey don Miguel said to his eldest son, “Find your way out. Go home and master Death by becoming alive.”
For the past 13 years, don Miguel Jr. has applied the lessons learned from his father and grandmother to define and enjoy his own personal freedom while achieving peace with all of creation. Today, he is married and has two young children. As a Nagual, he continues to pass along the wisdom and the tools of his family’s traditions in helping others to achieve their own personal freedom and optimal physical and spiritual health in his lectures and workshops. Miguel Jr. has taken the lessons of his father and grandmother, and discovered his own personal path to freedom. Being able to apply his teachings to the world around him gave Miguel Jr. a new understanding of the lessons his father and grandmother had passed onto him, once again giving him the desire to pass on this awareness through his books.
He is the author of the books: “The Five Levels of Attachment”, “Living a Life of Awareness”, “The Mastery of Self”, and “The Don Miguel Ruiz’s Little Book of Wisdom”. He also co-authored the book, “The Seven Secrets to Healthy, Happy Relationships” with his dear friend, HeatherAsh Amara. He now helps others discover optimal physical and spiritual health through his books, so that they may achieve their own personal freedom.
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